everything we know you'll never be. [Rowan]

Charlie sat completely alone in the sand dunes. Sure her daemon was soaring above her, dodging the sand that was flying up like bullets around the girl, but not even Mae could console her.

Sand was going every which way, so many individual pieces going at so many speeds, it was hard to see that anyone was there at all. It seemed like there was an irregular wind in that one particular area, though the sand seemed to reach out further and further as time went on.

Charlie wanted to scream she was so angry. She wanted to cry she was so sad. She wanted to die just to get it over with...but she had so much life ahead of her, she swore she did. Her and Rowan were destined to be together. How would he feel about this? God, this was worse than anything ever. Ever.

Charlie had been through all the possibilities. It hadn't come from Rowan. The only other man she ever slept with was Wes. Her own bodyguard had killed her.

It was her own damn fault for sleeping with him in the first place. Maybe if she wasn't such a damn whore...

She screamed suddenly, throwing herself back. Her body seemed to melt into the sand, the grains covering her entire body as she burrowed under the many layers. The entire sand dune floor seemed to shift every few seconds as she got further and further down. Where was she going? What was she doing?

And suddenly it all stopped. All of the sand that had surrounded the area around her fell to the ground, revealing nothing but a bird trying to find her clio.

Someone else was here, she could feel it. Was it Rowan? She had delivered a message to him. Had he finally come? He was running. Had he heard her?

"Rowan?" she breathed. She hoped the words might travel through the sand, but she felt it wouldn't. She tried helping it along, but not even she could do that.

Rowan ran to the sand dunes, blissfully unaware of the news that awaited him. He had only gotten a vague message from Charlie telling him that she had something "very important" to talk to him about and to be at the sand dunes right around now.

He had no idea what she needed to tell him, and he never could have guessed.

"Charlie?" he called, looking around. He saw Mae, so he knew Charlie was there. He looked at the large mound of sand below Mae. Was Charlie under there? Why?

What was going on...?

Oh no. Why had she asked Rowan to come? She should have just vanished without him knowing. It would have made things so much easier. Instead her body had taken control of her mind, and it seemed to be doing whatever it pleased. Like delivering Rowan a message to come here to tell him that she was dying.
Wonderful.

Suddenly the sand jolted up, her body sifting through the pieces. Her body rose from the sand, little pieces of sand crawling down her body to join the others. Her back was to Rowan. She had done that on purpose.

She didn't say anything as Mae hopped up her body onto her shoulder. They were speaking.

I don't want to talk to him anymore. This was an awful idea, she said to Mae. Mae looked back at Rowan before looking to her clio again.

Charlie, at least say something to the poor guy.

Charlie didn't say a word.

Whoa. That wasn't normal. Rowan took a step backwards when all the sand exploded off of Charlie.

After a moment of uncomfortable silence in which Rowan had no idea what to do or say, he took a few cautious steps forward and hesitantly put his hand on Charlie's shoulder.

"What's wrong, Charlie?" he asked softly.

If only he knew how terrible the answer was.

"Rowan," she breathed, not daring to look at him. Well, maybe she would. She turned to look at him. Nope, she couldn't.

"Rowan, I need to tell you something. It's really unexpected and out there," she said. She was starting to talk pretty fast. "And I never expected it and I know you never expected it, but now that I know I have it we need to take some sort of precaution with you or something because I'm gonna die."

And then she could do it. She could look at it. She said it, it was out there, just kind of floating around. It was like smoke from a cigarette. It lingered until someone moved the still air.

The words seemed to take an eternity to reach Rowan, but once they did they echoed in his head over and over again. His immediate reaction was that he hadn't heard or right, or that she was lying, or maybe just being figurative.

Yes...because Charlie was young and beautiful and there had never been a clio more full of, more deserving of life than her. Anything to the contrary was just wrong, impossible even. Just...

"No," he whispered.

"Yes, actually," she said somewhat matter-of-factly. She wasn't sure how else to take it when speaking to someone else about it out loud. She didn't know what tone to use, or how to change them anymore. She was so out of control of everything.

The words jumbled in her head constantly, sort of like her Eilemaiden style. Everything flowed in a way that didn't make sense, but obviously worked to her advantage. She hadn't had a complete mental breakdown yet. She was getting there, but she wasn't there yet and that was always a plus.

"I don't know what to do," she said.

Charlie...was...dying...?

As soon as the thought formed in his mind, it burned itself into his consciousness, flowed through his body, leaving confusion and denial in its wake.

"But...you can't be," Rowan stated, equally matter-of-factly. It just didn't make sense. "There's no way..."

"I know. It doesn't seem like it's happening, right? I mean, I swear it's not." She looked down at her hands, her palms facing up to look right back at her. These hands would be dead soon. Lifeless. They wouldn't belong to anything but the soil of Amelia. She's be buried with Mae and that would be it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Aw shit, here it came. A tear slid down her cheek, followed by a few more. "Uhm," she muttered, her finger reaching up to wipe the tear. Where had that come from? Her feelings didn't say she was crying. Her body was saying she was crying. When had her body decided to take over? Was there just a point in time where her brain gave up?

Dying sucked. Especially like this.

"Wes," she whispered. "It was Wes. You need to watch out for Ria. It was a fucking STD." No pun intended.

Wes...Ria...STD...For some reason Rowan heard these words as if Charlie had just thrown them out randomly, incoherently, and he couldn't comprehend them. His mind tried to make sense of this.

Ria? She was fine. She had just been to the doctor's.

It was the rest of the sentence that was difficult. Charlie...had gotten an STD from Wesley. And...she was...dying.

"Oh...oh god..." Rowan said, and his voice broke.

She was dying.

"But Rowan, don't go telling everyone, okay? If I want to tell them I will. I don't want everyone feeling sorry for me. I want this to be a good last week or so. I want to have fun, I don't want to spend my time with people who are like, 'Oh no, Charlie, what will you do?' Like, there's nothing to do. Nothing. It's gonna happen and I hate it, but I just want this to be fun."

What was she talking about? She spoke of her death like it was nothing. Like it was just a mistake that she could fix. It wasn't. In a week she'd be dead. No more Charlie after that.

God fucking dammit! Why'd she have to be such a slut?

The sand fidgeted a little as she thought badly of herself, but it could've been the wind. Who knows.

"...A week," Rowan repeated faintly. A. Week. One week. In a week Charlie would be gone. He'd never talk to her again, never see her smile again. In a week she would be unmoving and unfeeling, buried in a wooden box.

Rowan wanted to scream, or hit something, or cry, or kill himself. But...he had to be strong for Charlie. So their last memory could maybe be a happy one.

He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace.

Dammit, Rowan, why?! Why did he have to be so awesome? She needed a hug right now, and it was exactly what he gave her. He held her so tight. She loved it so much.

She started to actually cry, rather than just tears. How her head fit on his shoulder, how his arms felt around her. Even if they weren't supposed to be together, this was perfect. This was some sort of love.

He smelled so comfortable.

These random thoughts were really getting to her, since they usually didn't make much sense to anyone but her and Mae, but sometimes they just made her feel better about stuff.

Her arms wrapped themselves around Rowan with no intention of letting go. She wanted to stay here forever.

"Rowan, I'm sorry that it has to end like this," she said, though it might have sounded a little muffled, with her face buried into his shoulder and her crying and all.