HAND ME THAT GRAND PIANO

The wind was blowing softly as Ria laid out her red plaid blanket. The sun was shining and the temperature was warm, a perfect day for a picnic. Ria grabbed out the basket containing the lunch that Rowan had packed for her before he went off to do some Overloridian crap and set it in the middle of the blanket. Then she grabbed out Chloe and Claire and laid them next to each other on the blanket. Both were wearing little purple sun dresses and matching bows that were pinned to the tiny bit of hair that had grown in on their heads.

Ria sat down and opened the basket.

The last time Lumi had been in Froom Valley, she had ended up having to save Quinn from killing himself. Not the most pleasant memory. Hopefully the trip to Froom today would be a little bit more enjoyable.

Suddenly, while she walked through the Valley and tried not to look at the tree that still had the cut rope hanging off it, she happened to notice Ria sitting nearby, having a picnic with her babies. Aw. Lumi couldn't wait to have her own baby.

She knew that Ria didn't like her very much, and the feeling was mutual, but that wasn't going to stop Lumi from going over there.

"Hey," she greeted Ria, as if there was no animosity between them.

Ria's gaze turned towards the voice. It was no other than Lumi Lavanya. Or Lumi whatever, she had just gotten married.

"Hey," she returned, " What are you doing out here? Don't you have that little love muffin at home? You should go make him dinner or something."

And don't touch that ham, she thought violently.

Lumi was totally eyeing that ham, but Ria had clearly marked it as her territory and was ready to kill to defend it.

"Actually he usually makes dinner," Lumi replied in a bitchy sort of voice. "And it's like one in the afternoon. Besides that, he's at some Overloridian thing right now."

She sat down near the blanket. "Having a picnic with your babies, I see," she remarked. "They're adorable."

It wasn't the babies' faults they had a bitch for a mother.

"What, you can't even cook for your man?" Ria sneered, picking up a sandwich and taking a huge bite.

"And yes they're adorable," she said with her mouth full, "they're my babies after all.

Lumi rolled her eyes at the cooking comment, and didn't dignify Ria with a response. As for the "my babies" thing, though...

"If you ask me, they look more like Rowan," she noted, smiling at the little girls. "In fact they hardly look like you at all."

Ria glared at Lumi while she continued to eat her sandwich. "Oh yeah?" she said angrily, "well they don't look like you either!"

Of course right after she said it she realized how stupid it sounded, but the damage had been done. The only thing she could do was pretend it hadn't happened, or that she didn't care.

"What are you doing out in Froom anyway?" she wondered out loud.

Lumi almost laughed at Ria's stupidity, but decided to be the better person and let it slide. Oh Lumi, how mature you are.

"Taking a walk," Lumi answered airily. "It's such a nice day, after all. But then I saw you here and wanted to come over and see your babies." She glanced at the little bundles of cuteness. "And now I want to stay and talk for a while. Is that so wrong?"

"I'm not sharing any of this, if that's what you want," Ria said, taking another huge bite of her sandwich. "Rowan made this for me and I'm not sharing."

Claire giggled a little as a butterfly came over and fluttered around her and her sister. Both twin's wisps were floating together above their respective girl's.

"And these are mine too, so you better back off," she said, glaring. She still hadn't forgotten the chip incident.

Aw man, Lumi was really wanting some of that food. Oh well. She didn't want to give Ria any satisfaction so she acted like she didn't care.

"What do you think I'm gonna do, steal them?" she asked with a raised eyebrow in reference to the babies.

"Maybe," Ria said suspiciously, "I dont' know you, Lumi Whatsurface, for all I know, you steal babies and eat them!"

She took another bite of ham, finishing it off, then reached into the basket and brought out another. Yum, hammm.

Lumi got way more offended than she should have. "I do not eat babies!" she practically exploded. "My god! Why does everyone think I frikkin eat babies!? Is there something about me that screams, 'hey! I eat babies!' Jesus fucking Christ."

She crossed her arms moodily and glared at the world in general. She was not a baby eater...

Um... Woah?

"Jeez, you freak, I didn't really think you'd take her home and eat her," Ria said, her head tilted to one side. "Why're you freaking out all of a sudden?"

Lumi blinked, and got kind of embarrassed. Stupid hormones. "Nothing, just a random mood swing..." she muttered. "Didn't you get those when you were pregnant?"

Of course Lumi had crazy mood swings even before she was pregnant, but now it was nice to have an excuse.

"You're pregnant?" Ria said, shocked. She had had no idea. "Those are gonna be some screwed up babies, having you for a mom and all."

She shook her head and then took a bite of sandwich. Some people shouldn't be allowed to have children!

This time Lumi had a pretty damn good reason to be offended. "Who the hell are you to talk?" she demanded. "You're the girl who tried to drink while she was pregnant and tries to use her babies to attract married men. And let's not forget the 'Rowan, either do everything I say or punch me in the stomach' thing."

"Hey, my babies are perfect! I bet you can't find a thing wrong with them!" Ria was getting really angry now, "What do you think you are? Trying to come tell me there's something wrong with my babies?"

Ria stood up and glared at the Dian.

Lumi looked at Ria incredulously. "You just said the exact same thing to me, you hypocrite!" she exclaimed angrily. "The only difference is, I can actually support my claim!"

"You know what, you whore?" Ria said loudly, placing her hands on her hips. "You really are disgusting!"

She threw things back into her basket and then put the babies into their stroller. "You're a freak!"

"Wait, I don't get it," Lumi said, genuinely confused. How was she a whore and all the other things Ria called her? "How come I'm the whore, but you're the one who's been with at least ten times more guys than me? And what makes me such a 'disgusting freak?'"

She wasn't trying to pick a fight, because it would be a terrible thing to pick a fight in front of babies, but she was just trying to understand Ria's faulty logic and thought process.

"Shut up, freak!" Ria said, shoving the picnic basket underneath the stroller. "I've had about enough of you. Rowan should be home by now, I'd have more fun with him than I would if I stayed here in your presence. And that, believe me, is saying something."

"Are you just resorting to random name-calling because you can't think of anything else to say to me?" Lumi asked shrewdly. "And hey, I didn't know you were still living with Rowan. I thought you guys didn't like each other."

"Of course I'm still staying with him. I have two newborn babies! He's their father!"

"I thought you didn't care about that," Lumi commented, remembering that Rowan had worried that Ria would take the babies back to Earalas. "So you guys are raising the babies together then? As like...a couple?"

How weird.

"A couple?" Ria asked in surprise, "No, no no no," Ria waved her hand in dismissal, "I don't date, believe me. Dating, love, that stuff is total crap. I don't believe in it."